Smoke free zone

I noticed this the other day and heard talk about the UG campus becoming a smoke free zone. From TODAY!! This I've got to see.

This will take an extra pair of balls to establish on such a big campus.
It's a good idea! I can't take smoke at all. But all I want to know is, who will be the smoke officers?

Policing people on this campus is not an easy task. And the other factor that we forget is that the majority of students on the campus is Guyanese! They'll use their "innovative" ways to not get caught. Pun intended!!

We @ Guardie are in support of a smoke free campus. It's a bad habit that is dangerous! But with all fairness to the smokers, give them a place to smoke, some corner somewhere by the back gate or something!

Its not like UG got plenty smokers! At least where I am they seem to be a small bunch. So this is not a big deal!
If they were smoking in class that would've been a different issue.

And by the way, could someone please tell me where I could find this document about the fees being raised!! We @ Guardie still want to pick that document apart!

If you got it, email it! Guardieblog@gmail.com

-is nah me, is meh mouth
(Stewie)

Social science! WASTE!!

Dese men mek I really get vex wid dem! Social science gone and lose to technology!! Strewps!!

All de starring up dey been starring up and dey go and lose!! Tech blow dem out by like 19 points or something so!

Who is de captian fuh SS team! Line he up and shoot he in he back rass!!
And YES!! All de "Pro limers" dat play to contribute to de loss!!

Ya'll is a pack a waste man!! Ya'll wuss dan de West Indies! Ya'll going good good all de time and den LOSE!!

And Stewie! U is meh boy and all but don't got nothing fuh tell me! We is fren and thing but when it come to basketball we is enemy! Next time we gon wash ya'll naught!!

Is nah me, is meh mouth
(Blaque)

CAT BOIL fuh Prezzie!!!

Some people ain know when yuh give an tek back, yuz geh cat boil---- Mus watch Duncan next week, when he come on campus wit a BIG, FAT boil in de middle uh he head mus know is wuh! Prezzie boy share out he lime dem an tek all back! Yes! “Slight Lime” fuh dis week cancel. Is wuh you really deh pun Prezzie? You tryin fuh paccoo people or wuh? I don’t tek too lightly to people who like paccoo me yuh know. How I de lookin forward to dis “movie nite” event. I buy me popcorn all ting (I didn’t buy drinks though, UGSS wudda had da covered). Yes, I’s a big freeness tout and proud of it! But now wa I gon do? Me ain ga tv home, so I de anticipating dis “big screen picha!” Now all I got is a bag fulla popcorn seed. Yuh dash ma hopes man Prezzie, and I am not a happy camper! I waiting fuh see wuh you gon do now fuh win back dem votes, (including mine) that you lose by pullin dis lil sk….I mean stunt-----Don’t tell me yuh ain thinkin bout reelection! You’s dream bout it every nite. Tell me ah lie!…

Big facebook invite an ting! Stww…I mean las week lime din really ready yet, (I hope da band tek they own advice and “don’t quit [they] day job”). But, yuh know, ya’ll try an ting----even ma boy Gay-nesh de smiling sweetly from ear to ear wit everybody (for God knows what). But how ya’ll gon hype we up dis time around an den drop we like a bad habit? “How cud you be so heartless!”-----I guess a promise is a comfort to a real jackass eh? Anyway, I hope yuh reason fuh backin outa dis wuz a damn good one, else you won’t be hearin de end of dis fuh jus now….an you're free to interpret the ambiguity of that statement! I goin an pop some seeds….

Is nah me----is meh mouth!

(Lazer)

"Give credit where credit is due"

I don’t know who’s initiative it wuz to put that new ramp/slope at the front of the Education & Humanities faculty building, but nice goin UG. Yuh gotta give credit where its due, they tryin. What I wanna see though is the rest of the campus becoming more “disabled friendly” so to speak. This is a modern age we living in an everybody is entitled to their own measure of success and happiness, regardless of their physical impairments. The international community recognises this and we should too. Nonetheless, I commend the efforts of the Admin for even paying attention to this issue and I hope they continue with even greater commitment in ensuring that education is accessible to all Guyanese hopefuls, cuz it starts with us. We need to be the change we wanna see, so hopefully this trend extends to the wider society. Don’t feel nice bout dis lil commendation though----don't feel ya'll gon be like de government and feel that ya'll doin we a favour by doin yuh job! Ya’ll got a looonnnngggg way to go in terms of improvement, so don’t feel in any way vindicated by dis lil pat on de back. Good!

Is nah me---is meh mouth

(Lazer)

UG admin half of the problem

Ok! I normally bash UG admin when it does some sort of crap! But I've just realised that they are only half of the problem!

People expect that the staff will magically do everything for them! If you know you can't read and understand the instructions that you have to follow don't come holding up the line with your ignorant self!

Registration is going on right now and I know that UG's online "thing" is not very efficient.

Online is online!! They're busy telling people that they should come up and pay for another form to complete registration!! WTF!! Everytime someone tries to access information they can't get on because something is wrong with the server!

Admin! Buck up man!! This is the new age and we still can't get a website right! How do you expect new students to react to such crap!!

Get your staff to stop playing on the damn computers! Reading young and the restless websites and all the other dumb ass websites that do not relate to UG and start getting some work done!!

S=÷%

Is nah me, is meh mouth,
(Stewie)

Cartoon of the Day

Nothing a gwan!

Well we all know dat exams around de corner! Down to de limers start to study!

Everybody face like flint on de campus! And I getting some mad headache jus thinkin bout dese final papers!

Anodda year completed on dis jungle campus thk God! Less time to spend up hey! Can't wait fuh de day I wear de gown and beat out from hey!

Another set a children come up on de campus fuh tek a walk around! I could rememba de first time I come up hey! I couldn't wait to come!! NOW!! I cyan wait to leave!

But I got to seh I did enjoy some days up hey because of meh friends dem! Campus life supposed to be fun and exciting! Not stressful! People learn betta in comfortable places! Nah when ya got to be fightin fuh chair and stressin bout lecturers dat ain comin

N e how! Ya'll try wid de campus life!
Prezzie mekkin swank every weekend now! So enjoy for me!

-is nah me, is meh mouth
(Blaque)

Happy Independence

OK! 44yrs of Independence and what have we to show?

I'm kinda disappointed that the University misses out on opportunities like these to display its culture. But then again, we don't have anything cultural going on on campus!!

I'm only thinking that as the top tertiary institution of the country that we ought to be embracing cultural things to preserve our heritage! But who am I to say that! I'm just another blogger right.

Now if I didn't happen to accidentally see some buntings hanging about the place somewhere in town I would've never have know it was independence time.

The campus aint even seh "Boo" to try to pull something off! All we want to do is party and have "slight lime"

We lost till we can't be lost anymore!
Anyway, happy independence! What ever it means to you, if anything at all!

-is nah me, is meh mouth
(Stewie)

What/Who next?

Ya see! is a good thing we start talkin'
now everybody wan talk! anyhow i ain come to talk about dat.
i come to talk bout de changes i've been told about since we start to talk at Guardie.

Cheryl buy a bin! a brand new one to!! it mo big dan de one she had before and she emptyin it when it get full! she mean dat she nah gon move it from de door! but any how she gon deal wid duh sometime lata ah think!

Ah notice like deh fix de over flowin septic tank at de back deh! or deh must be patch it i dunno.

so lemme see if they gon fix dis problem?

my lil fren from infront been talkin de other day and mention dat Ms. Goorasammy does just come and gaff plenty! she don't really lecture! all she does do is gaff round de topics dem.

I had to ask she if de woman don't talk about the topic in a easier manner by "gaffin" bout it?
she seh dat the woman don't mek sense to she, and she think that Goorsammy class is a waste a time.

well Ms. Goorsammy, me ain know wha ya really doin? and i don know wha de other students think but like they dont like ya gaffin. dey mus be want you to "lecture" to them like a "lecturer" ya know! cause dats what "lecturers" do! they "lecture". Meh lil fren is nah de only one i hear seh duh! so ya must be doin something real wrong.

And at de same time, some a dese students still feel dat dis is big ABC. Some a dem still wan spoon feedin at dis stage of learning.

Girl Valarie i don know wha deh really want! i was one of your students and look how good my english are! my spellin and subject and verb are in perfect ar-da! and i gon graduate wid meh "D"

So ya mus be got to try don gaff wid dem no mo! cause like de more ya gaff! de mo deh fail ya course!

I is a proud student of yours! look how good i come out!
Try wid dem deh!

-is nah me, is meh mouth
(Blaque)

Gosh! LOOK AT PEOPLE!

Inter Faculty Basketball & Table Tennis Tournament?

The much hyped University Inter Faculty Basketball and Table Tennis Tournaments have begun.

Have you heard about it? (Not referring to the UG limers)

You haven’t?

Of course you haven’t, as you can see a picture tells a thousand words

Let me go out on a limb here and do the Organizer a favour by informing the students who frequent this blog to come and lend your support to the faculty in which you belong

Monday 24^th May at the Cliff Anderson Sports Hall is the place to be, from the 12pm to 4pm. So please tell a friend or two about the games!!! C&B there!

- is nah me, is meh mouth

(Optimus)

Gym Lime

Prezzie doin he self man! De "something" lime @ de gym get all a dem lil children excited!

Food and drink give away!
Music, live band, projector with music video and thing

Prezzie ain goin down just so! He mekkin sure he get he people to vote fuh him dis next election.

We been and drink 2 mackenson look round de place lil bit then bruck out.

The scent of the GYM was starting to get to me! So I tell stewie leh we roll.
Nice idea fuh an activity, I think de gym shoulda get spray out or something fuss before we "lime" inside

And talkin bout "lime" somebody been in deh with a "BIG" scent! Whoever dat was they been curling deh scent instead of deh muscles! Shit!!

Some nice girls been to! A limited few but they were nice! They had to beat out too cause dey mother been callin dem and so.

But as to the ress a dem! Dem communication is problems! And another one been deh in a purple top got man doing she all kinda thing. Dem girl like dey aint like deh self!

So Prezzie! Leh a get some a duh money ya spenin nah? Cause like it really "pays" to be de president? I ain hear bout no notice dat ya went to the Admin fuh money fuh dis "something Gym lime" or whaeva it was! Or ya been in ya pocket fuh save face?

Party ain everything! Dem lil children like de party scene, but we wan see ya deal wid de issues! And get dem DONE!

So hype up de pickney dem! I hope dey de fuh save ya when de time come.

-is nah me, is meh mouth
(Blaque)

BEWARE....Imposters!

I must take the liberty to caution all of you our faithful readers and visitors that we have been cloned. Now as troubling as this sounds, guardie is in no way worried or intimidated by this revelation. We're simply appalled. This so called “guard-me” blog has seen it fit to make a direct replication of our blog, right down to the web template, but people don’t be fooled. Let me just make it resoundingly clear that

Guardie has no association whatsoever with this blog!

I can only speculate that they’ve seen how rapidly effective we’ve become since our humble birth and have therefore decided to run with our ideas and even a similar title in hopes of like success. Either that or they simply want to undermine us. But whatever the case, we ain mine if ya’ll wan play “follow de leader” people, but Lef We Out! Be original nah?! An on top of da they gone dedicating the site to strictly people gossip----“Where no one is off limits”----Wuz da?! I know guardie duz gossip tuh, but mainly about de issues on campus, na bout people personal life. Then yuh gon go an put up pics wid Marvin an he gyul, or ex-gyul, whichever. I mean come on! How low can you go man?----guardie does have standards in case ya’ll din know. Tell me wuh Marvin personal life gaffa do wit anything, or anybody else for that matter? Who cares? How does that affect “The University of Guyana?” I tell yuh---Ya’ll carry idleness to a whole new level! But ya’ll carry on, just don’t associate guardie wit ya idleness! PLEASE! We nah into that type of business. If all ya’ll wan talk bout is UG celebs, then change ya’ll name to “Access UGwood” or sumtin, nah guard-me, (so phony). And de rest of ya’ll (guard-me) included, stop using we page fuh transact business. Like ya'll ain got shame? If ya’ll wan advertise pass de $$$, pay yuh airtime and we'll happily accommodate you! COMPRENDE?!?!

Is nah me---is meh mouth

(Lazer)

We LEAD others FOLLOW!

We seemed to have started something that has caused every cat and dog to decide they can blog!
competition rising from everywhere! that's good man!

But what we don't like is the fact that you coming onto our page and advertising your "rookie" blog.

Desist from doing this! or else we'll have to start the "BLOG WAR"! if you need some advice and stuff, no problem! we'll help you do your thing. But don't come commenting on our page by leaving your site URL.

That's just pathetic!

Hats off to the new kids on the blog sphere! if you guys make any sense we'll give you a space on our blog list which is coming soon.

remember "we're watching"

-is nah me, is meh mouth
(Guardie team)

Represent your faculty!

If you think you got what it takes to make it on our blog send it in

guardieblog@gmail.com

feel free to send pictures, jokes and things you think that we haven't covered yet.

(Guardie Team)

Now back to cricket!

So I still waitin on dis document bout dis tutition thing.

If ya’ll wan raise it at least leh we see wha ya’ll wan we do before we agree to pay

But come fuh tink bout it, I ain even tink we getting de chance to agree! Anyhow

I waitin’ cause I looking to send meh son next year and if ya’ll gon raise it, leh meh see if I got to sell more “doors”

I know I ain read de ting yet, but I hope dat with dis raisin’ thing dat certain priviledges we gon get

Like: power for students use dem computer. And de same thing in de library!

Like betta chairs and thing for de classrooms, like more opportunity to get a wuk! Afta UG

Like exchange programs so dat I could intergrate wid de first world students dat doing de same thing I doing, so dat I could be more… waz de word… “competitive” (ya’ll ain know I know big word nah)

Odda things like; getting meh grades on time, well not like a care now cause I graduatin jus now! But fuh meh people dem dat comin in. like lecturers gon start dey course on time and gimme de course outline before de first assessment. And plenty mo thing like dah.

So I ain wan talk no mo! I wan read dis thing and see wha benefits I gettin

Students wan know! I fed up hearin bout dis raisin fees thing, I WAN READ it!

I got to get like meh fren dat cuss up de UGSS president!

“do something! Cause ya only mekkin ya self a fool! A year near don and wha ya got to show? A party and protest? We ain’ vote fuh see duh!”

And yes! I know somebody gon come and talk a set ah stupidness fuh represent de president

Ah waitin fuh ya!

- Is nah me, is meh mouth

(Blaque)

Talk to ya fans!

"PERSON!" talk to ya people dem!
every post i put up hey you got ya people cryin out fuh you!
they proper got you like some fool!

and the more i see people talkin bout how good ya be!
is de mo i would tell dem how much of an arse you are!

i got a feelin is ya "leadah" got people writing a set a thing on this blog
i ain mind ya write, but don't come blowin ya horn on it!
you got ya "student page" fuh duh!

an to de "person" fans dem! if ya'll talk bout how good he be
post it pun he page!! "de student page!"

if ya ain know wha a person is! go to "Livingston speech" an find out

- is nah me, is meh mouth
(Blaque)

Who responsible for sports?

Who really planning this sports thing? I understand the intent but i certainly don't like it.

The campus is already starved for entertainment so somebody planned a basketball competition and a tennis competition. Nice idea! But why does it have to be at the sports hall?

WHY?
we can't run off a competition right on our tarmac?
the only people that may be disturbed are those Communication people. And they always liming anyway, so nothing new for them. The Law people i think writing exams, but the organisers could've arranged a reasonable time to do the competition.

how we plan on gettin the other students involved?
i know that the basketballers will have their people to follow them. No doubt about that!
but what about the people that would be inclined to look at the game just to relax or something? just to enjoy campus life, bring back some sort of life to this DEAD campus.

but NO! you'll plan a competition at the sports hall! and if i only find out that the planners had to pay to get the sports hall when we could've used the tarmac for free. I'll get ANGRY!, and you wouldn't like me when i'm angry

Take sense out of non sense please! we're trying to get the campus alive! not drain the lil money that we got!

-is nah me, is meh mouth
(Stewie)

Field Trip!!!

Yesterday I tekkin a nice stroll down de catwalk, I look up an see dis big courts bus pull up on de tarmac. I seh wuh?! I de wan no if they had a campus promotion---givin away tv an furniture or sumtin. Well I cuddn’t be more mistaken in my logic. So skuurrrkksss! makes the bus, pop! goes the door and out comes sum dutty lukin, improperly uniformed school chiren, clad in white an green check. Don ask me which school. (like wtf rite?). Big smile an ting pun they face. I thought career day de gone long time…well they had to be special. They probably won an all inclusive tour/trip to “The University of Guyana!” OMG! Who cud ask for a better prize?---lotto ain got nun on dis yo! If yuh see dem…..scamperin about like scattered ants. Like “country cum to town” or "nevaseecumfuhsee" (lol) as they wud say. I cunddn’t help but pity their little naïve, animated souls. Even de toilets were an object of fascination for them. It took me right back to de dayz when I used to roll up in grass an suh, but never was my odour so offensive, pardon me....but they propa had a ball. I wonder if they get fuh go an see Frank in natural sciences, Lord knows wa wudda happen deh…

But on a serious note though is good, they're being familiarised with their future surroundings, cuz look at it, this is the dream home of many of these youthful, academic scholars, the educational climax of every young Guyanese boy and girl who dreams of becoming successful in life! But don’t forget little ones, you have to stay focused and work very hard and maybe, (just maybe) one day you’ll be lucky enough (like us), to be able to attend Guyana’s “Premier Academic Institution” of higher learning. hoooraahh!

Is nah me---is meh mouth

Wha!

Dese people bare face! You could imagine dem people paste up we post about de bin, right next to de bin!

How stupit people stupit? Ya'll still nah gon move dah bin? I tell ya! Is a good thing I got rasta man to eat from! I sorry fuh ya'll in front deh!

I guess ya'll like de rubbish treatment!

-is nah me, is meh mouth
(Blaque)

Bloggers BEWARE!...oh please!

Jus goes to show you the immense, influential power of writing. Now I have an idea of how the distinguished Freddie Kissoon duz feel. Imagine people actually want to “investigate” guardie now. I tell yuh! Its pretty simple people, if you don’t want your dirty laundry aired out in public, jus mek sure yuh wash yuh damn clothes! Wuh we talkin here shuddn’t really be anything new to anybody. The only difference between we and the rest of the UG population is that they merely got eyes, but we now got eyes and mouth, so we don’t only see, we duz talk! We don’t plan to take over the government, or the world (yet) lol---is nah pinky & de brain in case yuh wondering. As I said before our motives are completely “non-political.” We don’t want/need accolades from anybody fuh doin wa we enjoy. On the other hand, if by speaking out, we succeed in stimulating positive change for all humanity (UG specifically), then that wud be some nice icing on an already delicious lil black cake. So sherlock, or shud I say ganesh/gay-nesh, (whatever your name is), et al… ya’ll ease up. We ain raining on nobody parade---site? But if you do have a problem with us…

…You know what they say----If yuh can’t stand de heat, carry yuh backside out de kitchen!!!

Remember...

Is nah me---is meh mouth

(Lazer)

Fire?!

Just takin a browse on the University of Guyana Student Society offical page and came across a "person" (refer to livingston's speech for a definition of "person") talkin about a fire in technology. If i've learnt anything from that "person" it would be that he exaggerates too much just to be noticed! anyway, that was that.

But ya'll must read this "official page" that just reads out the number of complaints from the students. My friends tell me that the president ain't even in the office now when you want him. i suppose he's out trying to lock somebody else out of their gate.

But back to this fire thing! i don't know if those fire hydrants work around the campus. do you?
come to think of it, have i ever seen a fire hydrant on campus? or can i recall a fire extinguisher in key points? certainly something to think about.

has there ever been any drills or anything to help us to deal with a fire on campus? you know, for a institution that is like 65% wood? i guess nobody ever taught of that.

anyway, i wonder what started that fire? and why that "person" thinks it's arson?
could it be that the "person" accidentally dropped a cigarette in the class?
Smoke free zone?! ok then!

-is nah me, is meh mouth
(Stewie)

Investigation

I tell ya! It ain even a good month yet and investigations dun launch!!

Dis boy ganesh is a real doo doo!!
We hear he wan know who we are!
He feel he important or wha! If you hear how he carryin on fuh find we out!

Well gay-nesh we hope ya mek it!
You gat nuff wuk fuh find we out.

Fuh de odders dat wan know who we be! I give ya a hint, Go look by natural science! We does always meet up deh! Must tell we hi when ya passin

- is nah me, is meh mouth
(Guardie team)

You should know

This is just an FYI for those of you [haters] who don't know and a REMINDER for those of you who already do. Jus keep it in mind that we ain tryin fuh appease anybody skites!---kapeesh?

Now! I think we (and when i say "WE" i mean "ME" and others on this blog!) are kinda fed up of people not knowing our opinion on the matter!

By the way, you're probably wondering why this blog is called "Guardie"!
it is for the very reason (Guyanese accent) why you hire us to sit down and listen to the radio, talking a name or asleep when we should be "WATCHING! We know everything that going on with dis campus, but becaus we're guards yah think we dunce"

(English accent) Pardon me! what i meant was; We would like to be the overseers of our fellow students! Hence, being aware of their activities and making intellectual comments that are obviously opinionated!! (clears throat)

So "WE" will be watching your every move and listening to every conversation. Because (Guyanese accent) "WE FAHASS!! Pardon me! (English accent) "We're prurient!!"

We'll be letting you know what's going down all around Turkeyen for as long as we're not caught (snickering) because this country is renowned for "investigating blogs that tell the truth about the matter"

(Jamaican accent) "Don't watch "we", watch "ya yaself!"

- is nah me, is meh mouth!
(Guardie Team)

(Reposted by Lazer)

Tell me better!

De next time I get de feeling as tho des lecturers up hey preparin me fuh wuk "fuh" somebody I gon really behave bad!

Fuh as long as I deh in school all I hear from teachers is "get a good education so you could go and get a job" dat mentality mus be been from since before me time.

Why des lecturers cyant teach people to get in de habit ah creatin jobs for we self.

All I get from des damn lecturers is "go and find ah wuk" when I graduate! I graduating wid hundreds ah odda people wid de same thing like me! De country don doh wan people wid out experience! But dey hardly givin students hands on experience! Now fuh de set dat does go straight from school and wuk, some a dem don get time off fuh improve dah self! Is weh we really goin man?

Now I hear dat Jason don wid UG and now he drivin taxi! De amount ah people I know dat leff dis campus and cyant get a wuk is a love!

If we start a association wid de ex UG students dat ain get a wuk yet! Ya gon know why we got so much ah car pun de road! Cause half a dem is taxi driver or bus people or deh wukkin outside deh field!

I now thinkin wha gon really happen to me when I come outta hey! Wha wuk I gon get when I don get meh degree? If any wuk at all! Or like I gaffa think bout flyin out like de ress a de country!

But as I start off! Why I thinkin so is because all meh life I hearin "go and find a wuk!" Instead of "go and mek a wuk"

All yuh change dis thing! Lemme feel as doh I could go out in dis world and mek a job fuh meh self! And if de oddas ain wan go and mek ah wuk! Dey could come and wuk fuh me!

UG admin people! Is ya'll I talkin to cause I know all yuh readin! Tell de chancellor and de V.C I seh!!

-Is nah me, is meh mouth
(Blaque)

I hate rain!

Rainy days on campus are the most sickening days! If you're using public transportation you're bound to get soaked!

If ya standing on the catwalk, its like you're still in the rain!

You got to be a good sprinter if you want to get from one class to the next! It's a good thing I'm at the back! Because if I had to run from IAST to Nat. Sci or even Agri! It's best you put on your swimming gear! Cause your bound for a dowsing!

What can be done for students when using public transportation in such weather? It's not every time the bus men are going to be able to come to the parking lot to pick up or drop off!

Prezzie talk about shuttle bus
Well... Ummm...
We all know what happened there!

Try a shed first before you look to buy bus! I think its more practical

-is nah me, is meh mouth
(Stewie)

The Brotherhood

Da sports club at de back by admissions/technology side is really convenient I must say (not location wise). But it’s a pretty cool hang out spot and good form of escapism for those who enjoy the relaxed, casual, academic free atmosphere where you cud tek down a nice cold one and enjoy some domino or a gaff while you at it. De food ain ready yet though---as the case with most places on campus. If you want good food, check de “I” at de back (anyways, thas another story). The tv nonetheless is its most appealing facet. Yesterday I swing in fuh peep lil cricket, well that was a regrettable moment. The place was near packed though, everybody with they eyes glued to the tele…I seh eh heh bai! Dis gon be good! (yeh rite)---I wasted nearly an hour of my precious time to see West Indies blatantly throw away their chance at the WC semis. What a disgrace! These guys never cease to amaze eh? They always find new and innovative ways of destroying our hope and faith in them. Ah well! Hats off to the Aussies though. They were exceptional (as usual). But I can’t help but make mention of that brilliant catch by the outstanding David Hussey off of Chanderpaul. May I also say that he [rightfully] copped the catch of the tournament award in the IPL---Brilliant stuff! But though the game sucked (for us West Indians), it was still nice to enjoy the atmosphere that rallied all the way around the WI---the brotherhood as I like to call it, quite homely in a way. UG cud do well with another place on campus like this, (don’t say spicy), but consider it!

Is nah me---is meh mouth!

(Lazer)

Gosh! wipe yuh bamsy nuh?!!

Blaque bai, I get to de bottom of yuh problem. UG dishing out mo sh*t pun we bai, literally!---today I tek a stroll down by de art dep’t side on de catwalk fuh investigate de so called “stench” emanating from that area and to my utter amazement, there wuz sh*t cumin outa de ground, seeping into de gutter an smelling up de flappin place! It seem as though ug bamsy fulla so much sh*t dat it now reach de point where they can’t hold it no mo. Diarrhoea in they skin! Now all they dutty story seepin out! They seriously mean fuh kill people deh yo, no joke. I mean wtf man?!! Dis is da “sh*t” we gotta put up with?!? Gosh man! Can’t even breathe clean air on de flightin campus now. We getting violate in every sense of the word. This is serious and it needs to be addressed. Pronto! At least give we a relatively “clean” environment fuh dwell in, (notice I sayin “relatively clean”---I ain gon ask fuh more dan wa I know we gon get). Anyway, dis dutty bitchery need to stop! Clean up ya act UG!

Is nah me---is meh mouth

(Lazer)

Belly welly

Fuss! I ain't sehin dat nothing wrong! But des women brave to be coming to UG wid a cake in de oven!

Wha I wan seh is dat dey got some woman dat runnin down pregnant woman wid de flabs and they think dey look nice!

Left side don she; My gyal! Tuck in ya belly!!

Some belly does smile at ya pun dis campus! And when dey walkin if ya see how dey jiggling!! Some a dem aint care! Dem feel deh hot mo dan peppa seed.

Dats right fatty!! You know I see you!
Looking like a tub ah lard!!

Dey got a gym on de campus! Use it ya lazy flabbsy self

(Blaque)

Regis-stress-tion

Now administration wants people to register "only" on the fancy website they've created!

New students can't even access the site properly in order to get on! So how they expecting new students if from the beginning they got stress to deal with.

UG is a big disgrace if they can't even fix a website for students to register.

Way to go UG! Way to go!

-is nah me, is meh mouth

(Stewie)

Dem boy cleanin'

Dem boy like dey finally get de money to clean dis place! Bush mo dan de ppl on dis campus! Is nice dat admin finally decide to clean de place before we dead from malaria or something! Cause des mosquito got bones banna!! Dem fly feedin pun chicken pill or something! And dey hard like cherly chicken. Leh we see how long dey gon tek fuh clean um doh! Today is tuesday! I think dey might don by next week, wha ya think?

(Blaque)

"Welcome" says the BIN

(To CHERYL)

I got to see this as soon as i hit SPICY step? this is the first thing i got to see when i coming to eat at this place? You trying to tell me that this is the only place a "GARBAGE BIN" could be?! at the entrance of the "canteen"

CHERYL!! you would like if i put a BIN in front you living room door?! or your bedroom door!

or in front of your kitchen?! YA EYES PASS ME!! This is tenement yard behavior!! don't bring your low life mentality to where you want people to eat.

(To the STUDENTS)

You're trying to tell me! NONE of you people can't catch sense and tell SPICY to move this BIN from here! YA'LL glad to be walking into a canteen with a "BIN" for an usher! I expected better from you students! As soon as i see this crap i stopped going to spicy dish...

You think any other place would've done something like this!! WE got to understand that once things are not going the way we want we got the power to make it change. Tell these people off and let them know that we're not sticking for no nonsense!!

-is nah me, is meh mouth

(Stewie)

Pro limers

Ya eva wonda wha class some a des men does do on dis campus?

All des men does be doing is limin, limin and month limin! Dey surely mek academics look easy!

I neva yet hear or see des men in a class any way! But from de time they got a lime dey deh in front!! De fuss ones present.

Ya'll ain know who I talkin bout yet? Dem man dat does tek ova de step @ spicy! And mekkin a set a noise in de gym seh bout dey exercising. De UG touts man! Yes! Marvin does deh with dem to.

We should have a limin award fuh real
How they do it! Who does pay for it is beyond me!

Dem man got luck fuh days

(Blaque)

Beware

If i ain tell all yuh! da mean i ain all yuh fren!

PLEASE GO TO SCHOOL WITH ALL YUH GAS MASK!

i don know if dis is anodda "Civil disobedient" act, or Admin answering back or wha

but if admin staff gaffa pass by de art department on de cat walk! headin to de library

DEY WILL SURELY DIE!

oh skites man! de whole place smell like tons of $#$% and P*&^

i pass deh friday and nearly blackout! IF YA SEE SPEED WID ME!

i dunno if is a septic tank over flow, somebody S#$% and shy or wha!

but OH GAWD!! dem gon kill innocent people to!!

So ALL YUH PLEASE! don't walk on de catwalk down deh

tek de stroll on de road and breath good air if ya got to go to de back.

But fuh dem art students and so...ya'll got to deal wid Mo' S#$% pun top ah de $#$% UG does don give ya'll aready.

Is a good thing i don deh round deh!

-is nah me, is meh mouth

(Blaque)

Cartoon of the Day

"Crack is Wack!"

As the famous Whitney Houston once said "crack is wack," but is it really?

It seems as though a$$ crack is the new cleavage. I mean really, everywhere you go on dis “sacred” campus is sum chick bt lining deh peepin at you. Deze ladies really rockin dem low rise jeans I tell yuh, and it doin well fuh sum I must say, while fuh others, well….lets jus say sum things are better left unsaid.

I seeing bamsy now like I never see before bai---is a crack invasion! Now when you checkin out a gyul from behind, you ain gotta wonder wa she a$$ really look like, dem fleshy fegs duz be out in de open fuh you ketch a good glimpse. Only ting lef fuh you do is touch…touch and pull on those lovely g-strings, thongs or “BIG panties,” as they call them. Is laugh though if one of deze dayz one uh dem fart rite in yuh face. You nah gon wan pull nuh mo!

But seriously, UG shud consider becoming the face of the crack industry. Bt crack here is big business! We got from black crack to white crack, to yellow crack, to brown crack, to dirty crack, to clean crack, to ugly crack, to stink crack, to old an wrinkly crack, to young, smooth an silky crack….and the list goes on. Crack fuh full yuh eye boys!

But watch out! Da ting is a serious classroom hazard, no joke! I mean is really hard to pay attention when dem two cheeks watchin you full in yuh face, jus ask around. I think thas one of the reasons why the males failing so much you know….UGSS shud look into that.

Anyways, I would like to move a motion today, the 8^th day of May, 2010, that the “Thong Song” become the official UG anthem! What you say Prezzie!?! J

Remember…

Is nah me---is meh mouth!

(Lazer)

UG's relic

I think we @ UG have to consider building a monument for certain "students" on campus.

And the first person that came to mind was Gavin! (I think that his name, tall brown skin, bald head dude! Thinks he's the best thing out since slice bread, yes! That's the one)

Now this guy was on campus since Burnham was a boy scout. It's at least 15 yrs that man on campus! Whatever his program is I'd wanna stay vvvveeeeerrrrryyyyy far from it!

He studying to be a studier? I could remember the first time I saw that dude, his walk and chip was the weirdest thing I'd ever seen. (I wonder who's bike he used to borrow?) This man on this campus real LLLLOOOONNNNGGGGG! I think he been there before GWLT was GWLT.

So the next time we see our "Longest standing student" salute him then laugh your head off! Then remember him with every exam you write. Because that man had more size than what he has now! He now looks like "sucked up cane" (you don't wanna look like that do you? Didn't think so)

I don't know how he does it? It's either he really like student life? Or he's realllllyyyyy dense!

- is nah me, is meh mouth
(Stewie)

Dis big boring campus!!

Friday's is de wuss day on dis campus! This place BORING!!! Nun going on at all on dis place!! Ya cyan even spot lil "birds" pun de "catwalk" on a Friday!! Cause de campus just dead!!

De lil action that might kick up is de service dat does be in GWLT (nodding) what excitement!! (Dribbling) I pass by spicy, I see dem boy playin lil tennis (boring!!) Walk round by technology de place dead as usual!! De whole campus jus DEAD!!

Wham to dem days when we used to play cards on de catwalk, and play basketball and thing on de tarmac! Play lil music and thing out deh!! NOW! Not one $±|¤ happening.

Dis campus got to get lil life man
Skites!!

(Blaque)

Name Change

All who think the "offical UGSS" FB page name should change to the "Ganesh"propoganda page say "I"!!!

I cyan believe me eye! every other comment or post is dah man banna!!
oh skite!! Like he ain't got nuthin fuh do!!

Not even de president got so much air time pun dah page!!
and he create am!!

or maybe it should change from the "official UGSS" page to "Leave your complaint here! and we'll forward it to ADMIN" (we all know whey gon happen deh), but de students like deh like am... the "digital complaints all ova" but i like "Grass louse" post

nah only dat she got a stupit name, [who does call de self "GRASS LOUSE" bai?] but she wan know "who let de dawgs in?"

Lousey lemme tell yuh!! dem dog does pay more attention dan nuff a dem pun dis campus!!
don mind de lil roudy! dem dog does come to class, and dey does answa question to!
One a dem same dog might get call up on dah same stage with you! only dat de dog might get a standing ovation because it get "dis-stink-shan"

Ya eva see when dey shoppin deh lunch? Lousey dem dawg BAD!!
but if you want to get rid a dem, you got to call Student factor to get rid a dem!
S.F is de only people dat seh they looking fuh dem dog to get dem off de "catwalk"
(cats rule, dogs drull)

So call dah same one Ganesh!! cause he was front runna fuh Student Factor, fuh chase he cousin dem out de compound! Dah boy proppa frontin!! so he should geh dem a cigarette so dem could walk behind he!

And i notice he get V.P title...

I gon deal wid dah anodda day...

- is nah me, is meh mouth
(Blaque)

Paper 1's and 0's

Somebody please send this note to the Librarian of this campus
THIS LIBRARY IS A TRAGEDY!!
With all the security at the door, one would only believe that there are so many wonderful books inside!! according to the "catalogue"

Talking about a catalogue, why in this day and age we still have a "paper based" catalogue for the library? There's an entire technology faculty that learning to build a "DATABASE" among other things!!

NOW!! you're trying to tell me that these students that you're teaching can't make its VERY OWN LIBRARY its own DATABASE?! as a project or something!! You're trying to tell me that these students can't make the entire campus a working database for everything we would need as students?

Do it in a phase system or something! For as long as you have a program that trains technicians, specialist and the like, create projects that would be directed to campus development.

I know that this will come up in some plan for the campus, maybe in 2030 or something!
but i don't mind! for as long as you wake up "sometime"
If we want to equip students, let's make it a work in progress! yea... the kind that we "ACTUALLY DO WORK!!" This campus i think is so behind the times!! and don't tell me nothing about money!! FIND IT!!

- is nah me, is meh mouth
(Stewie)

well well...

i must say welcome to all of our new viewers
i've noticed we're under the eyes of our beloved "Freedom fighter"
Nice of you to join us!

Don't feel tho that ya gon tek wha we talkin hey and mek it u idea!!

we watchin you good and propah

by the way could you give us that document you so want us to read (about the rise in fees)
we'll like to read it and talk about it some more

(blaque)

Joke of the day

Water, Water Everywhere...

Well, what can I say?...this is university life for you people. Gotta walk in ya long boots fuh reach de toilet now....is na best u tek a leak rite deh? Who gon wan nasty dey nice lil nikey or clarks fuh meet in deh? Imagine, dis is wa d president ga fuh walk tru fuh reach he office everyday, and dis is wa every student who wan dine at spicy, or go to de gym or one of dem religious societies, or even visit Mr President himself, gotta overcome to get there. Is nah eyepass? Is only one way traffic cud flow here during wet season. Come on man, dis is how ya'll gon ga we? Is a "university" man. Oowwmiigooii! Ow!

is nah me---is meh mouth!

(Lazer)

Waste lands

Now this is a catastrophe!! What are we doing with all this land? Surely there has to be some reason for the waste of this vast landmass! We have an agriculture faculty that could more than use this land!! Just a piece of this land can be used to help subsides costs of operation on this campus. We can't do a cash crop or something? I'm sure something can be considered for this land!! It's just here wasting and smelling!!

(Blaque)

Price ah Studying gon raise!

I GOT TO SEH DIS FUSS!!

A good day ya'll gon trample a po' lil soul dat tryin to get into a class!
They ain' got a time when GWLT got a class and whores!! i mean hordes of people ain' waiting to go in! DE SAME TIME de set inside rushin' to come out!!

IS WHA!! Big people goin' on so man!! at least try to come to some sort of order or something nah!!
Mek one of de doors an exit! and de odda an entrance nah!! ya ain't got to be reading fuh a Masters to figure dat one out!! is as simple as dah!!

Ya'll gon tell meh thanx lata!

Anyhow, this tutition gaff bothering meh!
dis thing gettin' 'round, and people starting to ask questions!
so i wan' know? HOW MUCH MONEY YA'LL REALLY LOOKING FUH NOW??!!
po people like me gon cyan get no loan at the rate ya'll goin at?

everywhere ya turn! price raisin'!!
like society! like university? and as to the handouts!!
Just now a handout gon be like $1500 to copy! if some people ain' don paying dah aready! ya'll feel is rich people coming to this campus or wha? Students got to decide if dey gon full dey belly, or full dey brain.

Something got to wuk out! i ain't able starve myself no mo just to buy a handout! Nor worry if i gon get a loan to continue my program!
some ah des lecturers' believe that we minting money with these tick tick handouts!
we studying to mek de money lata, WE AINT MEKING DE MONEY NOW!!

So "Mr. SOC" and all de rest a dem that feel we just waiting for all des handouts by de copy shop; "Al yuh simma!" BUN IT DOWN!!

This is the age of technology!! USE IT!! sen a email or something nah! it would be more cost effective, yuh ain't think so! SMARTIES!!


- is nah me, is meh mouth
(Blaque)

Is fashion a distraction?

I was sitting in a class on the UG’s Turkeyen Campus one hot steamy afternoon when one student inquired if she may rid herself of her work jacket and made mention of her fine strapped top which she bore under that said jacket, the lecturer’s response was “I guess you can do that since you can’t dress any worse than this young lady in front of me”.

Right there and then I guided my eyes to my 3 o’clock direction and noticed what the ‘worse dressed’ young lady was wearing. “Lord help my Virgin eyes”, was my thought, as she was clad in an even –finer- strapped purple top which hugged her tighter that a mother’s love.

Her plunging neck line sent my eyes diving toward her bosoms. “Oh come on, don’t judge me I’m only human”. Moreover it was a burden to listen to the lecture after that experience and I’m sure the guys could have attested to that.

What surprised me further was the look of disgust she received from females of the class and even with those nasty glares and snide remarks; she sat there smiling ever so sweetly. Even if you were concentrating on the lecture, it was hard to sit and not notice the distraction of the above incident or an occasional @$$ crack peering out of a low rise jeans.

I guess one is left to ponder; what is really fashion?
According to the Concise Oxford English Dictionary (11th Edn.), Fashion is defined as ‘a currently popular style, behavior or clothing; the production and marketing of new styles and cosmetics’.

Could it be that fashion gurus of the University’s population have perhaps dusted the cobwebs and actually turned a page or two? I think not. For I’m sure that anyone who read this would agree and would have noticed, every day, the dress parade on the catwalk, in classes, or in any of the snackettes across the campus.

Furthermore it is difficult to make people understand that this institution has set dress codes and the ones who are supposed to adhere to such, won’t take the time to let their friends know where they have gone wrong. It seems as though Guyanese are bent on breaking every rule, well especially that rule, so I’m left to say; “only in Guyana”.

It is my opinion that the ‘Dress Parade’ should be left for the clubs, parties and other outings but I guess this is not Burger King: I can’t always have it my way.

- is nah me, is meh mouth
(Optimus)