TO: the "Persons" amoung us (speech by Livingston III)

Scenario: Livingston III calls a student meeting in GWLT.

(clears throat, glances around GWLT while about to begin his speech. Proceeds with deep British accent that spits at words that end with "S")

Fellow studentsss,
It was brought to my attention recently that we have amoung us people of different "Sexual orientationsss" on this very campusss!!
And for the rest of this deliberation, I’ll only refer to them as "Personsss"

Now! i don't 'ave a problem with these "Personsss"! i really don't! But! wha't i 'ave a problem with is this one "Person" in particular that decided to disturb my peace with their obnoxious be'aviour!!

I don't know if he wants the whole world to know tha' he's a..."Person" but I BLOODY don't!!
(Indirectly to the "person") You already have an annoying persona, your hairlines' recedin’ so your "twistsss" start midway on your ‘ead! and you're DARN UGLY!!

On top of all your "special Person" featuresss, you want to make a ruckusss about the place!, you and your "othersss"
My friend, "PU’T A BLOODY SOCK IN IT!"

I'm really not interested in what you have to say concerning your "Person" life, especially if i'm at least 20 meter’s away from you!! You speak with the width of your mouth chap! BE'AVE NOW!

And i'm not going to talk about this AGAIN!! so you know yourself!! "PERSON"!!!
Zip that 'ole in your face, or I’ll zip it for ya’!!

Bloody 'ell

This is an institution for higher learning for Christ sake!! Not a bloomin' market!!

Respect the fact that you've been accepted at least!! and the fact that others share the space you happen to ‘ave the priviledge of sharin'!
I mean, my life is so much bettah' with you quiet!!! that way, it's just like ya ain't here!! (sarcasm and a smile)

SO! SHHHAAAAATTTT APPP!!
Bloomin' whancker!

(i've said that quite nicely)